{"id":1757,"date":"2023-02-16T22:52:56","date_gmt":"2023-02-16T22:52:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.villages.com.au\/?p=1757"},"modified":"2023-02-16T22:54:55","modified_gmt":"2023-02-16T22:54:55","slug":"how-to-keep-the-flame-alive-as-you-get-older","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.villages.com.au\/lifestyle\/how-to-keep-the-flame-alive-as-you-get-older\/","title":{"rendered":"How to keep the flame alive as you get older"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1757\" class=\"elementor elementor-1757\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2547120 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2547120\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-41ff889\" data-id=\"41ff889\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6809e7e elementor-drop-cap-yes elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6809e7e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;drop_cap&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.15.0 - 20-08-2023 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p>Y<strong>ou may have committed to grow old together \u201ctill death do us part\u201d \u2013 but it\u2019s easy to lose the spark in a long-term relationship as the years roll on.<\/strong><\/p><p>Perhaps you\u2019re getting tired, or you feel like you\u2019re spinning your wheels, or you\u2019re not as attracted to your partner as you thought you were \u2013 but you don\u2019t need to throw in the towel yet, because there are still ways to rekindle what you once had.<\/p><p><strong>In honour of Valentine\u2019s Day, we have five tips from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.aarp.org\/relationships\/love-sex\/info-03-2011\/habits_of_successful_couples.html\">American sexologist Dr Pepper Schwartz<\/a>, Love &amp; Relationship Expert &amp; Ambassador for AARP, on how to keep the home fires burning.<\/strong><\/p><ol><li><strong>Don\u2019t assume everything will stay the same.<\/strong> People will grow and change over the course of a relationship, and you both need to recognise that and keep pace with the person your partner is right now, and the person they might be in future.<br \/><br \/><em><strong>\u201cThe most successful couples really take note of each other\u2019s changes. They do not assume their partner is the same person he or she was 20 years ago, even if there are many similarities. What\u2019s more, they take the time to learn their partner\u2019s goals, dreams and future plans,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> Dr Schwartz writes.<br \/><br \/><\/li><li><strong>Argue respectfully. <\/strong>You\u2019d be hard-pressed to find a couple that doesn\u2019t argue occasionally \u2013 but it\u2019s important to work out your disagreements without going below the belt. According to Dr Schwartz, winning or getting your way isn\u2019t where power in a mature relationship really comes from.<br \/><br \/><em><strong>\u201cTrue power comes from knowing how to discuss differences fully and honestly. If you demean your partner when you disagree, and if, at the end of an argument, you do not feel stronger and more intimate than you did before you started \u2014 you are not building a stronger, more loving relationship,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> she says.<br \/><br \/><\/li><li><strong>Look for new ways to have fun.<\/strong> Of course, you don\u2019t have to open an inn or join an overseas volunteering program like she suggests \u2013 consider taking a creative class together, or holidaying in a new spot, or taking up a joint hobby.<br \/><br \/><em><strong>\u201cAll the research on marital satisfaction shows that couples bond more closely when they do new, innovative activities \u2013 instead of getting stuck in the same rut they\u2019ve been in for the past 25 years,\u201d<\/strong> <\/em>Dr Schwartz writes.\u00a0<br \/><br \/><\/li><li><strong>Face the challenges of growing old together.<\/strong> As you age, come to terms with your and your partner\u2019s vulnerability and mortality, and be ready to take care of one another if and when you need it. Each of you should trust that the other will be there for them, whatever life throws at you.<br \/><br \/><em><strong>\u201cThe mature partners who face the future as true collaborators and helpmates forge an amazing relationship,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> says Dr Schwartz.<br \/><br \/><\/li><li><strong>Keep in touch with your physical needs.<\/strong> Don\u2019t be afraid to display affection to your partner \u2013 not just through sex, but by touching, hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy. According to Dr Schwartz, it\u2019s a vital part of maintaining a strong and healthy connection as the years go by.<br \/><br \/><em><strong>\u201cGranted, things change: Illness, medication and life crises might get in the way of the kind of passionate romance you had 40 years ago. But the happiest couples are those who have found a way to combat the physical and emotional obstacles and maintain a physically satisfying and sensual relationship,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> she says.<\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You may have committed to grow old together \u201ctill death do us part\u201d \u2013 but it\u2019s easy to lose the spark in a long-term relationship as the years roll on. Perhaps you\u2019re getting tired, or you feel like you\u2019re spinning your wheels, or you\u2019re not&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1758,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[142,141],"class_list":["post-1757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-romance","tag-valentines-day"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1757"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blog.villages.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1757\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1762,"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1757\/revisions\/1762"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.villages.com.au/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}